Dr. Ben Song

( featuring eddie in his cabin, looking the most camp counselor he's ever been. but! he appears to be in good spirits! )

Right, so, a couple things:

One, don't eat the chili.

( moving right along. )

Two, just because it's plastic doesn't mean it's recyclable. You see this number in the little triangle? ( indeed, he shows a milk jug to the camera. ) That means something. Don't worry, I didn't know all the specifics, either. 1 and 2? Good to recycle. 3? Totally not recyclable. All the other numbers are like a sometimes thing, and that's not very helpful. It's a flawed system. We don't love it.

Three, we've seen some kids sneaking off into the woods at night. Yeah, don't do that. Bad idea. Anything could be out there. And if you see salt lying around outside the cabins, maybe don't touch that, either.

Four, if anyone needs swimming lessons, we can... do that. We can help. Water can be kind of a lot.

( this also extends to counselors. people who know how to swim are also welcome; eddie just needs to go for a dip. )

And, uh, last but not least... does anyone else feel like this whole summer camp thing is portending our doom?

( or is eddie just a worrywart— )